But my child is learning!!

Ok, I'm going to write about something that can be a very touchy subject for some. TV time! I have been thinking about this a lot this past year, and even in the past month I've either read things, or had people ask me questions about it that I've spent more time thinking about it. So, TV and our kids...here it goes!
I recently read a post where a mom was giving her thoughts about TV and how much her family watches and why. One comment she made really stuck with me and I think that comment is where I'll dive into this subject. "My kids are learning so many things that I would never think to teach them when they watch TV." Ok, that wasn't her direct quote, but close enough. Who wouldn't be a little proud and suprised if they were to hear little Jonny say, "mom, did you know that Beethoven wrote all 9 symphonies in only 25 years!"? BUT, although he may have learned a neat fact from TV, I believe that by making the statement that TV is a need for our children because it teaches things that we can't, is quite sad. Our culture is one that is obsessed with learning. And don't get me wrong, learning is good, the Bible even talks about learning. Proverbs 9:9 is one place. But often our culture gets it wrong when they place education above the relationships. I for one do not want my children to be relationally poor. I think that this mindset that our children can learn things from TV that they can't from us is a lie that we believe to justify turning on the TV and disengaging from parenting. I know you may disagree and this may sound harsh, but I know this from personal experience and I know that the enemy is crafty in what he wants us to believe to take us out of the battle for our family.
When we turn on the TV for our kids we tend to do it because; 1) they're bored, 2) they're fighting with their siblings, 3) we have stuff to get done and need them out of our hair, or 4) we need a break. Do we ever really turn on the TV because they NEED to watch some Teletubbies? Of course our kids have "favorite" shows, but honestly wouldn't almost anything we let them watch be a favorite when it comes to TV or no TV? I think that children that watch less TV tend to play much more imaginatively and also learn to entertain themselves or get along with their siblings better. It also forces us as parents to take breaks from house work, phone calls, and the general busyness and sit with our children and read books, or play games. And when we do that, they are learning from us!
This past year for me was one of frustration and lack of balance when it came to the TV. Now, in writing this, I know that there will be many different TV watchers out there. One's that leave the TV on for their kids ALL day, ones that let them have TV's in their rooms, ones that only plan out a 1/2 hour or 1 hour show a day, the TV as a treat parent, and the no TV in the house parent. I was a limited TV parent and I liked to keep it to about an hour of TV a day for the kids. It was usually a Veggie Tale, or one of the videos we owned, or PBS kids. I have such a problem with some of the commercials on certain "kids" stations! The very thing I try and protect them from seeing they can see on a typical Nick station commercial. Hence the PBS kids station without commercials. Anyway, this past year even with my desire to keep it to an hour of TV a day, the kids were whining at me quite a bit after TV time for either more time, or later on they wanted to watch TV again. It was wearing me out and some of that was my own fault for vascillating here and there depending on the craziness of the day and letting them watch more. On several occassions I sat down with my husband and exasperated I told him that I wanted to get rid of the TV because I honestly thought we would all benefit from that! He didn't totally disagree, but I think he believed there could be a better way. So, I went back to the old rules and I still dealt with whining and general discontent after shows. FINALLY I said no more TV and it has been heavenly! Our guidelines are no TV except for 1 family movie night a week (where we all sit down and watch a movie as a family), and if someone is sick. Honestly you would not believe how little opposition I got from my rule. The kids were a little suprised, but once they knew we were serious they just went about their way playing with one another and finding other things to do instead of asking for the TV. Are there times they ask for it? Sure. But compared to what it was like before, I would say it is 100 times better! Are they still learning? Let me just say that they LOVE the library and often I find them in the living room pouring over our books. They love to climb up in my lap and have me read to them! I love that books expand the mind, and make them engage and think and come up with the pictures for the stories they are hearing. And yes, I do read many books without pictures. It is a great way for them to make up the picture themselves. TV is easy because it is all done for them, they just have to sit there and absorb it. It doesn't ask them to interact (and for those of you thinking of Dora...), and it just lets them sit there while it fills their mind with no dialogue. Think about it.
So, in conclusion I want to encourage you. I know it may not seem like an encouraging blog, but I really do want to be an encouragement. I think may people out there are looking for guidelines and others that feel the same way they do about TV and what place it has in their family. I honestly don't think TV is bad, but I definitely think we need to be aware, engaged and responsible with the reasons why we are letting our children watch it and how much of it. There are times when I break our rules and I turn on a cartoon for the kids because it's ok, but generally I try and examine why I want to turn it on. In the end it really comes down to our hearts and only God can examine that.